Horrible, Horrible Haman to the tune of “Little Bunny Foo Foo”
(Adapted by Sherrie Stohl with hand motions by  Audrey Katz)

Horrible, horrible Haman was marching through Shushan

Making all the Jewish people bow down to him.

1. When along came Mordechai…

2. When along came Queen Esther…

3. When along came King Ahashverosh…

…and he/she said…

Horrible, horrible Haman, I don’t like to see you

Making all the Jewish people bow down to you!

I’ll give you three/two/one more chance(s) and if you don’t stop it,

I’ll turn you into a… HAMENTASCHEN!!!   (gasp, scream)

Well the next day… (repeat with next character)

(After the verse with Ahashverosh, sing:)

Horrible, horrible Haman was marching through Shushan

Making all the Jewish people bow down to him.

When along came a good fairy… (ahhh!  Sprinkle pixie dust in the air)

And she said…

Horrible, horrible Haman, I don’t like to see you

Making all the Jewish people bow down to you!

They gave you three chances and you didn’t stop,

so now I’m going to turn you into a HAMENTASCHEN!!! (gasp, scream)

(And because this is a Jewish good fairy, help me count in Hebrew… Echat! Shtayim! Shelosh!,

and now say the magic Hebrew word… POOF!  Haman falls to the floor.)

The moral of the story is:  Haman today, Hamentaschen tomorrow!

The Whole Megillah – A Purim Rap
by Steve and Doug Cotler ©2001
www.dougcotler.com

Listen, listen, listen to this ancient story.
It’s a little bit funny and a little bit gory.
It’s a little bit scary and little bit tense.
It’s a crazy, mixed-up series of events.

It starts with a king who was not too sharp.
You might say he was a few strings short of a harp.
You might say he was a tricked by an evil man
With a nasty, filthy, dirty plan.

Now the bad guy would have killed the Jews,
If the heroes hadn’t stood up and said, “You lose!”
If the heroes hadn’t stopped him,
tell the Jews good-bye,
Sayonara, adios, everyone’s gonna die,
Kick the bucket, buy a ticket to a place in the sky
The heroes were Esther and Mordechai

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

Mort was Esther’s uncle. She became the king’s wife,
>From orphan to queen where she risked her own life.
She set the record straight, told the king what was true,
Told the king what was shaking, told him what to do.

And the villain who had puffed himself up so tall
Learned the higher you fly, the farther you fall.
Like a rock down a well, he was dead and gone.
But I haven’t even started and I’m rambling on.

So let me take you back to the ancient days,
To the kingdom of Persia with its ancient ways,
To the palace of the king, Achasveros by name
Who was eating and drinking and feeling no pain,
Cause he ruled from India to Ethiope,
Not bad for a guy who was such a dope.

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

Drunk and stupid and looking for a grin
He yelled, “Hey Vashti, let’s see some skin!”
But the queen refused. “I’m not dancing nude
For you or your buddies. You are way too crude!
No bump, no grind, no jitterbug jig
Especially for a royal male chauvinist pig.”

Now the king would’ve let the whole matter drop
But his buddies said, “This has got to stop.”
“If you let that woman disobey what you say
Then all of our wives’ll wanna act the same way.

So he dissed her,
Dismissed her,
Brought her down
And staged a Miss Persia pageant all over town,
A beauty contest to pick a new queen
And that’s how Esther came on the scene.

But here’s where the plot gets a little bit screwish…
On Uncle Mort’s advice she doesn’t say that she’s Jewish

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

With Esther as Queen, the king settles down.
But something is rotten in Shushan town.
A couple of hoods with a grudge or two
Decide to assassinate the King. Boo-hoo.

Now I don’t know how, the record’s not too clear
But Mordechai, remember him?, he overhears
And tells the cops, who arrest these perps
Bigthan and Theresh, a couple of twerps.

It’s over so quick, and you know what’s rotten,
No reward for Morty. And it’s all forgotten.

Meanwhile, the villain gets appointed Prime Minister.
Just the wrong job for a Shmo so sinister
His first decree? Everyone in town
Must now bow down and scrape the ground.

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

But Mordechai, will only bow to GOD,
Not to some puffbag, ragtag clod
The bad guy steams and screams and shrieks
But Morty shrugs, and the villain freaks.

It’s sad–
That cad–
feels had–
He’s mad–
He opens up a can of super-bad
He sings the blues. He blows a fuse.
And makes the king say, “Kill all Jews!”

Lots are cast, a day’s selected
And everyone’s walking around all dejected
Till a light bulb flashes in Morty’s bean
And he runs to his niece, “Hey! You’re the queen.
Tell the king he’s got to intervene.”
But Esther, she’s knows if she makes the scene
Without a signed — sealed invitation
The king’ll go nuts and yell “Decapitation!”

But this girl’s got guts. She plans a big party
Invites the King and Mister Smarty!

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

Delighted he’s invited, You-Know-Who leaves court
Swaggering home has words with Mort.
Angered to a tizzy, rigs a hangman’s noose.
“Tomorrow with the sunrise, I’m kicking his caboose.”

Nightfall. Starlight. The king can’t sleep.
“Read to me. Calm my mind. Nothing very deep.”
Then he learns that Mordechai never was rewarded
“He saved my life? I never knew. Why wasn’t this reported?”

Then Mr. Evil, hanging out, hears his king say, “Nu?
“I want to honor such a man, I wonder what to do.”

Now this is where the story turns, the butter churns, the biscuit burns
This is where the plot gets thick, the pulse gets quick, and here’s the kick
Mr. Repulsive thinks the king means him.
“Of course,
you’ll want to dress a horse,
in jewels and in your robes of gold
Parade this man through town. Behold,
You’ll want all men to show respect
For him, your most revered subject

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

“Si Si senor” says the royal dunce
“That’s a great idea. We must do it at once.
Tomorrow at dawn you will take my steed
My robes of gold, and you shall lead
A cavalcade with Mordechai sitting pretty
Up and down the streets of my capital city.”

The scoundrel was angry. He cussed and spat.
He jumped up and down on his three-cornered hat.
Not Mordechai! I meant me. I’m the one.
But the king had spoken. And here’s the fun:

The next day as they paraded- through the hood,
The bad guy’s daughter thought I’ll do some good.
And thinking she was spilling stuff on Mordechai’s head
Dropped stinky smelly sewage on her father instead.

But the King still said that death for all the Jews would be just fine
So Esther guessed her time had come and said, “I’ll change his mind”
She told him Hebrew homies were her very own crowd
“I have chosen to expose and I’ll shout it out loud.
I am a Jew and the murderous plan
Is a twisted, evil scheme from a twisted, evil man.”

So the Jews were saved,
and the bad guy hung
On the gallows he built to see Mordechai swung

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

That’s the story of Purim, an old story, and yet,
We party today so we don’t forget,
That in every life, God’s in the scene
>From brave Mordechai to Esther the Queen.
And when times get tough and rough and grim…..
You should never, never, ever, give up or give in.

REFRAIN
This megillah…
It’s a thrilla.
Shriek and shout
Don’t sit stilla…

Groggers grind.
Cymbals crash.
It’s a bash. Eat a stash of Homentash…
Dress up strange
Glad you came
And each time you hear his name,
You get to scream and yell
Haman!

A Dr. Seuss Purim Shpiel
by Dana Baruch and Robbi Sherwin
www.RobbiSherwin.com and www.sababamusic.com
© 1998 all rights reserved

Sh’ma yeladim and hear us well
For now is the story of Purim to tell.
It took place in Shushan so long, long ago.
Now off to Persia we all will go.

In this beautiful kingdom ruled a king
A king with no brain, who’d think such a thing?
He spent all his days and his nights having fun
Parading his wealth in the warm Persian sun.

A queen named Vashti was his loyal wife
She promised to love him all of her life.
She promised, that is, until he did ask
For her to perform an unthinkable task.

At his grandest of parties the king did command
Queen Vashti dance for royal men of the land.
“I am Not your servant, and dance I will Not!”
Vashti refused the king’s sexist plot.

For Vashti, you see, was not known as a fibber
She was, in fact, history’s first women’s libber.
Vashti was banished – away she did go.
Where did she go? That we do not know.

In this fair kingdom lived also the Jews
Who could not practice the religion they choosed
No Torah, no Challah, no Matzah Ball soup
For a villain named Haman had started a coup.

“Bow down to me now”, cruel Haman did say
“For I am an important man of the day.”
“I’m the King’s right-hand man – I rule all that I see
If you don’t bow down now, you will cease to be!!!”

Meanwhile back at the palace grand
An announcement went out throughout the land
A new queen to be chosen in an unusual way
In a beauty contest held the very next day.

All the maidens of the land were forced to appear
From near and from far, from far and from near
One such maiden had brains and had grace
Esther was her name…Such a pretty face!

Encouraged by her Uncle (or was it cousin?) Mordechai
“I beg you dear Esther, this you MUST try”
“With your brains and your beauty YOU he would choose
“Go, go, go, go! “Comb your hair. Wear nice shoes!”

“Besides that my dear, with your grace and your charm
You will blow them away. You’ll be on King Achashverosh’s arm!”
Unsure of herself but willing to go
Because she loved her Uncle so
She entered the contest
But said, “Uncle dear
Promise me that you’ll always stay near.”

The contest was held – They came one and all
And Esther of course was the Queen of the ball.
Though Achashverosh chose her and she was now queen
There was one rotten rule she had not foreseen.

Under penalty of death she had to obey
The following rule in an unbending way:
Her new husband commanded she could only see him
When HE chose to see her and on HIS whim

So now back to Haman, that cruel crusty fellow
At the top of his lungs he continued to bellow:
“Bow down, bow down NOW I command!
Or great harm will come to you in this land.”

Mordechai, of course, refused to obey
“I bow only to G-D to my last dying day!”
Haman’s face turned red with anger and hate
“I’ll get you my pretty If it’s the last breath I take!!” (Cackle cackle cackle)

Mordechai turned his back, and others did follow
As for Haman, well, his pride he had to swallow
“That Jew, Mordechai has ruined my heinous plot
Because of this affront I will have to draw lots

The straw that I pick, the one that comes nigh
Is the day that the Jews of Persia shall die!”

Into his three-cornered hat – he did cast
All of the dates – the future, the past
The lot that he picked was the 13th of Adar
“Make ready the gallows! Adar is not far.”

Right after Haman he did pester
Went Mordechai to see Queen Esther.
At the palace gate, two guards he did broach
Plotting to kill King Achashverosh.

Brave Mordy protected his king and his land
By revealing the plot in the palace grand
His loyalty and his brains gave him the upper hand.

The king in his chamber that evening did read
Of Mordechai’s loyalty in the Book of Good Deeds
With the smallest of brains, the king thinked and he thinked
“Who is this Mordechai who saved me from the brink?
Who, who, who is this man who foiled the guards’ plan?
I must reward him – send for Haman!”

A question to Haman Achashverosh did pose:
“How should I honor a man who has been on his toes
Who has saved my kingdom through heroic deeds
Without a single thought to his own needs?”

Haman, thinking this hero was he
For saving the kingdom from the Jews for the king
Pompously swelled with excitement and greed
He knew the king would his words heed:

“I think my dear king no reward is too great
Give him diamonds and jewels—a house by the lake”
“Fabulous clothing and all of the best
Let him ride the king’s horse on your next birthday fest!”

“Make it so, dear Haman, loyal right hand man
Bring forth Mordechai the Jew…this is my command!”
“Instruct all my tailors, my jewelers my builders
To spare no sheckles, no rubles, or guilders
Call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men
To honor this Jew again and again!

Haman astounded, speechless at best
Felt his anger spread from his feet to his chest
Could it be that this man who refused to bow down
Must now be honored all through the town?

Seizing the moment, the opportunity here,
Modechai to Esther did appear
Using his wits and Oh, so clever brain
Mordy made history, now Esther has fame.

“You must risk your life and go to the king
And tell him about this heinous thing
That Haman is planning the Jews will all die
You must go brave Esther…this you MUST try.

“But cousin (or Uncle),” she said – trembling with fear
“Without his permission, I cannot go near
It could be my life – I am so afraid.”
But Morty replied: “You can do this, BABE.”

“Use your brains and your charm and your prettiest skirt
And your shaina punim…What could that hurt!”

So, Esther swallowed her fear,
And she calmed her nerves
She went after this task
With Vim and with Verve

At a party given that very same night
She walked into the banquet, trembling with fright.
Although shocked to see her, the King did beckon
“I’ll see her, I’ll see her…It’s fine, I reckon.”

“Dear husband.” she said, “I’ve gotten some news
So horribly horrible that I did choose
To come un-summoned to be by your side
You must listen to me – After all, I’m your bride!!”

Risking her life Esther told him the story
Of Haman’s dastardly plan—Evil and Hoary
Esther, still trembling explained to her mate:
“My lord, at the risk of sealing my fate
I must tell you something that to you may be news…
Someone is planning to kill all the Jews!”

“This includes Mordechai, And all of his kin
And in this category, you must put ME in.
For you see, I am Jewish, but so loyal to you
Please don’t hurt my people…Please don’t hurt the Jews.

I fear my dear husband, unless you act with your heart
I, too, will die on the 13th of Adar.”

Thinking the thoughts a king would sure think
(That his loyal wife deserveth a mink)
He called for his henchman…His Number Two
To question again—what should he do
In order to save his wife and her kin
Haman of course, slunk right in.

“Esther, dear Esther, tell Haman your fear
Don’t be afraid—Tell him my dear.”

“Okay, here goes nothing,” said Esther inside.
She looked straight at Haman, and summoned her pride
“You wicked wicked man…How dare you pretend
That you are loyal to my king to the end?

You who did plot to destroy all the Jews
Also will kill ME Whom the king did choose!
For I too am Jewish, you hateful old coot!”
“Turn around,” said the king…”I give you the boot!

I sentence you now to the gallows you built
Not a single drop of Jewish blood shall be spilt!
Pack up your belongings but don’t go far
On the gallows you’ll be swinging on the 13th of Adar!!!”

The moral of the story, Yeladim, you now know
Is to honor G-D and all people wherever you go.
To stand up and speak out for all that is right
And to you Chag Sameach…Laila Tov, and good night.

The Eats!
Purim has one very famous food linked to it, and that is Hamentashn. They originated as a German pastry called Mohn Taschen, meaning “poppy seed pockets.” Who knows, maybe somewhere along the way someone thought it would be fun to create Haman’s pockets and named them, hamentashn. The triangular shape may also remind us of Haman’s 3 cornered hat. In Israel, they are called “Oznei Haman” meaning Haman’s ears.

Here is my family’s recipe for Hamantashn. B’teyavon!

Barbara Kline’s Hamentashn, passed on from Caroline Poliakoff

Cookie dough
4 eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup oil
3 tsp baking powder
4 1/2 C flour
1 tsp salt
1/3C orange juice1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/2 orange rind finely grated

Mix all ingredients together. You have to work the dough quickly, as it is soft and seems to stick to the surface easily. Divide into four rounded clumps, wrap with Saran Wrap and chill at least 3 hours or overnight (overnight is best).

Mixed Fruit Filling
20 oz can crushed pineapple
29 oz can sliced peaches
1/2 lb dates
1/2 lb dried apricots
1/2 lb dried prunes
1 C sugar (or 3/4 Cup if you don’t like it too sweet)

Chop all the fruit and place into a large pot with the fruit juice from the canned fruit. Bring to a boil. Then add the sugar, a bit at a time. Simmer for around 2 hours until fruit is very soft and blended well. Keep an eye on it to make sure the bottom doesn’t burn. Add a little water if mixture becomes too dry. Cool.

To assemble the Hamantashen

1. preheat the oven to 375. Lightly oil cookie sheets.

2. Take one piece of dough out at a time and then only work with 1/2 of that dough at a time. You have to move quickly or the dough will become to sticky. Put the remaining dough back in the refrigerator. Sprinkle plenty of dough onto your counter and with a light hand, roll dough to 1/8 inch thickness. Add more flour to the rolling pin and the counter as you go to prevent sticking. Cut out rounds using a biscuit cutter or 3″ glass (flour the rim of the glass to make a clean cut). Put a teaspoonful of the filling in the center of each round. Lift the edges from 3 points and pinch together to form a triangle. Pinch the edges again to seal tightly and prevent the filing from leaking out.

3. Place the hamantaschen on the cooking sheet and bake 2-30 minutes.

All around the world people are preparing other special foods for Purim. Check out the wealth of Jewish recipes, especially for Purim, at the *Cyber-Kitchen*.

http://www.cyber-kitchen.com/rfcj/category.cgi?category=PURIM

Your one stop source for learning new Jewish music, Hava Nashira is a highly acclaimed music conference which I’ve been attending since I was a wee pip! This sight includes all of our participants’ mp3 song samples, resource lists of songbooks, recordings, and so much more. Visit this page for a supply of hillarious Purim Parodies.

Adrian Durlester has been composing Purimspiel Parodies based on major Broadway shows for some time and now you can check them out and purchase them for your community! Packages can include scripts, CDs, and sheet music.

Babaganewz, my favorite Jewish resource for children on the web, has the most fun Purim Centra! Games, slideshows, art projects, etc. Check it out!

Shushan Purim
At the very end of the Purim story when the Jews have managed to reverse this time of “grief and mourning to one of festive joy,” Esther gets a new house, Mordechai gets a promotion and it’s clearly time for another party. But when exactly should the party start? Remember that in the story the Jews inside the walled city of Shushan continued to fight on the 13th and the 14th of Adar, so their celebration was to be on the 15th of Adar. This is called Shushan Purim and is still celebrated today in Jerusalem. Everyone else celebrates on Adar 14th. Both days were to be observed “as feasting and merrymaking and as an occasion for sending gifts to one another and gifts to the poor.” (Esther 9:22)

The Fast of Esther
In Hebrew Ta’a-NIT Es’Ter, the fast takes place on the 13th of Adar. Remember when Esther tells Mordechai to have all of the Jewish people in Shushan fast on her behalf (Esther 4:16)? Today, some fast from the morning of the 13th until after the reading of the Megillah.

M’gee-LAH is Hebrew for Scroll. In Jewish texts, there are 5 Megillot (plural) in the K’tuvim.
1. Song of Songs
2. Ruth
3. Lamentations
4. Ecclesiastes
5. Esther

Generally if there isn’t a name associated with the Megillah, it’s referring to Megillat Esther, the Scroll of Esther which we read on Purim.

Purimspiel (Pu-rim SHPEEL) is Yiddish for a Purim Play based on Megillat Esther. Usually the spiel is done in a comic style, as a satire, with music, silly characters, and even dance. It originated in Eastern Europe in the 18th century.

Check out Shira’s version, That’s How We Roll OR A Dr. Seuss Style Spiel OR A Purim Rap !

RA-ASH-a-nim are noisemakers in Hebrew, or GROG-ger in Yiddish (from the Polish word “to rattle.”)

Learn how to make a grogger, kazoo, and tambourine HERE!

A-DAR is the 12th month of the Hebrew calendar. It’s a winter month with 29 days, usually coinciding with February/March. When there’s a leap year, an additional Adar is added to the calendar, called Adar Aleph or Rishon. When this happens (7 times every 19 years) the Purim holiday is celebrated in the second Adar, or Adar Sheini.

Special dates in Adar:
Adar 7th is the traditional date of the birth and death of Moses
Adar 13th is the Fast of Esther
Adar 14th is Purim
Adar 15th is Shushan Purim